Student Activities [Web Team Satire – Yearbook]

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The Editorial: The Yearbook according to Jomeo and Ruliet

‘This is the Shakespearean tragedy of Jomeo and Ruliet, a play of two yearbook editors who due to their love for a school yearbook wrote a tragic editorial…’

Scene 1: Seven days before deadline

Prospero: Knowing I loved my taxpayer dollars, he, Gonzalo, furnished
me from mine own library with yearbooks that I prize above my dictatorship
of the HVHS Yearbook.

Miranda: Would I might but never see that yearbook!

Prospero: Now I arise. Sit still, and hear the last of our yearbook.
Here in this school we arrived; and here have I, thy yearbook coeditor,
made thee more profit than other yearbook editors could, that have
more time for vainer hours, and tutors not so careful.

Miranda: Heavens thank you for’t! And now I pray you, fellow coeditor...—
For still ’tis beating in my mind—your reason for raising this yearbook
fretting storm?

(The Tempest, A1S2)

Scene 2: Six days before deadline

Quince: O monstrous! O strange! We are haunted! Pray, yearbook
typists! Fly, typists! Help!

Puck: I’ll follow you, I’ll lead you about a round,
Through keyboard, through crashes, through cracks in the monitor…

(A Midsummer Night’s Dream, A3S1)

Scene 3: Five days before deadline

Ruliet: O Jomeo, Jomeo, wherefore art thou Jomeo?
Deny thy yearbook and refuse thy photo collage;
Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love
And I’ll no longer be a yearbook editor.

(Romeo and Juliet)

Scene 4: Four days before deadline

Petruchio: Room B13, for a while I take my leave
To see my friends in the common room; but of all my best beloved and
approved friend Hortensio; and I trow this is his yearbook camera.
Here, sirrah Grumio, drink two teaspoons of instant coffee each day, I
say.

Grumio: Coffee, sir? Nescafé®? With whom should I consume coffee?

(The Taming of the Shrew)

Scene 5: Two days before deadline (gulp…)

When they had sworn to this advised doom
They did conclude to bear thy yearbook deadline thence,
To show the uncomplete remains through Rome,
And so to publish the editors’ foul offence;
Which being done with speedy diligence,
The Romans plausibly did give consent
To the HVHS Yearbook Team’s everlasting banishment.

(The Rape of Lucrece)

Scene 6: What deadline? (˝ hour left)

[We didn’t know how to finish off a Shakespearean tragiparody, so we thought we’d leave you in the lurch on the ending to Jomeo and Ruliet.]

Jonathan: What a way to end an interesting time at HVHS, though.

There’s not an awful lot I’m gonna say in the confessional now, but suffice to say inbetween my concerted attempts to dance and sing the words to Stop while playing it during my yearbook meetings (I still can’t remember most of the Spice Girls’ hand actions for that song), we made a rule we wanted to break. More is more than more is more than more. I still don’t get it. But in the end we got more pages. That’s the essence.

Well, I oughta thank a few people, in no particular order naturally. Freya I. for making sure I quite literally didn’t run in front of an afterschool bus on Woburn Road. (I kid you not. Thanks Freya.) Arun S., Melanie S., Megan P., Jenny B., James G. and Sarah P. for reading my poetry during ‘Z’ Study spell and making sure at the same time I slowed my two-a-day Milo-and-coffee habit. Fraser L., Jec D., Laura H., Lizzie C., Anna V., Stuart W., Carly D. and Barney W., the front lawn gang, for being a good forum for me during interval to test my yearbook design ideas on. My History class, 7HIHN, for doing the same thing. 3MC, for enduring a few bad moments in English. Naomi C., Catherine S., Daniel G., Jamie D., Sam P., Marissa B., Jon L., Gemma M., Kea W., Sarika P., some English teachers that I think wanted to remain anonymous and too many other people to remember for reading some second-rate (?) poetry, short stories and radio play scripts of mine. (I’m still writing them.) And to all those who sent in stuff for us yearbook minions to type, scan, vex over, proofread and have fun reading. You are the most marvellous of the lot.

Roseleen: Well, I guess Jonathan has said it all. I think I’ll let him have the limelight! (He had it especially when he was doing the Spice Girls’ STOP! Sorry James but Jonathan just takes the cake!)

Now it is time for my thank yous. First to my yearbook team! You are the coolest. Thank you to my legendary layout artist James – man you rock! Jonathan, my Jomeo, thank you for going mentally insane for me – you’re the best coeditor partner in the world! Oh yes, and Mrs Mulligan you crazy kid! That in includes Ms Honan, Mrs White, Mrs Sinclair, Mrs Lister, Mrs Boaden and Ms Fergusson … you all helped soooooooooooooo much!!

And most of all to our sponsors and people who supplied reports, writing, art and photos: without you our entire yearbook would look particularly pitiful.

I must also say to my third form class, 3DE, you are the best third form class in the world!

But there is also a special wish: good luck to the class of ’99! Never forget your time at HVHS. Lots of love!—Roseleen xxxxx

Jonathan: Now that I’ve finished dribbling, on with more important stuff, like you reading this yearbook! Have fun.

Roseleen Bhan, 7DE (Miranda, Quince, Ruliet and Grumio)
Jonathan Ah Kit, 7MC (Prospero, Puck, Jomeo and Pretruchio)
(with Mrs D Mulligan as Gonzalo and James Lamb, 7SO as Hortensio)

The 1999 HVHS Yearbook Amateur Dramatics Troupe were:

Name Role Character
Mrs D Mulligan (bigtime yearbook lady) Princess Innogen
Miss J Honan (other yearbook bigtimer) Mercutio
Roseleen Bhan (the coeditor #1) Ruliet
Jonathan Ah Kit (the coeditor #2 and photos) Jomeo
James Lamb (the layout artist king) King Lear
Pin Chaivanichakul (bigtime scanner dude) Nick Bottom
Michael Koo (scanner-typist dude #1) Vicentio
Shaun Day (fundraiser and photo boy) Mustardseed
David Coppell (scanner-typist dude #2) Peaseblossom
Amrita Ranchod (scanner-typist mistress) Queen Hippolyta
Mohammad Amer (reporter-typist hero) Macduff
Stephen Lwee (typist and little bro to Sarah) Claudio, Lord of Florence
Sarah Lwee (layout do-gooder girl) Beatrice
Sam Fung (PR and reporter hero) Proteus of Verona
Clare Possenniskie (subeditor understudy) Margaret, lady-in-waiting
Rachel Friedlander (subeditor understudy) Ursula, lady-in-waiting
Megan Ridley (co-chief photographer hero) Portia, barrister/solicitor
Isabella Clarke (interrogator hero) Rosaline
Jess Firth (Freeze liaison and a photo guy) Tybalt

This page is also available as a PDF file, 120.99kb.

Copyright © 1999 by Hutt Valley High School

Extracted from page 4, Hutt Valley High School 1999, the 1999 Hutt Valley High School yearbook.